Tuesday, May 26, 2009
after a wild day and last nite rollercoaster ride of emotions.....i came home and took a long look in the mirror....and had to realize who the fuck iam...and what was i doing allowing myself to walk around here looking like a slug on log...lookin as if i was depressed lol wtf was i thinking like im CARMEN LAMAR JONES!!!!!!!!!!!!! and imma live my life how i want to......at times like is gonna hit u with curve balls to knock you down but you get rite back up and thats just wat imma do...has my expreince made me a bit selfish? yea in a sense it has...basically i feel ive got just a sample of what the cold world can cook up...and true i got sick off that shit....but imma throw it up and get rid of it and work on keeping it moving.....rite now imma finish getting ready for graduation and be proud that ive made it...this weekend looks like imma take a road trip with da fellas down to greensboro saturday since imma be the only one home this saturday and i prolly wont have anybody come by so imma just take sometime outta durham to kick it with my niggas...even though my situation has changed me a bit...i cant lie i still love her and if i culd do it again i would but i guess i gotta live with the choice she's made......i dont force anybody to do anything they dont want to.....and all i can do is be me.....its good ive found some motivation to write more cuz this shit is def gone bring sum poems and songs and what not so its all good......its amazing how everything can happen so fast..and thats why whenever i have alot goin on..i take time to sit down and think about everything thru so that way wen it comes to make a decision or choice i have less regrets like to avoid thinking the whole should i have did that or not when i make a choice im usually sure of myself and i can live with that choice...cuz ive seen what making choices while im mad or upset has cost me..so i take my time but other than that imma just tak life one day at a time and stay on this paper chase....until my next blog im out...CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 2009!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!