Image&Change

wow so i think its been like almost a fucking month since ive did a blog....shit where do i start .....uhhh well i told myself i will try to shorten my long ass blogs......but ummmmm everything is pretty much the same....skool is cool...i find out whether or not i get accepted to shaw this week and wherever i go will b paid for....shit pretty much gucci between me and my girl....but im da newest thing in my life is that today i cut my locks off...i mean i didnt have them long ...but i had dem for a reasonable time period......i cut them becuz i felt it was cutting into the image that basically personifies me as a person...like i feel i wanted them for the wrong reason....and locks can b a religious type thing depending on who u r and wat u represent......and its funny cuz a person of wisdom shared somethin with me dat made alot of sense....and she asked me y i wanted them and i told her..and she said she had asked becuz she said many ppl had told her stories about theirs and one major one was dat she said sumone once told her that locks can represent things u go thru like tough times or hard times u endure and that when you cut them off its like a new start of ur life now im not sayin this is the beginning of a new life or anything cuz i dont need dat much of a dramatic change but i notice ive went thru more shit ever since ive had them than any other time of my life..not sayin dat cutting them off is gonna solve any problems i may have but i feel better as a person,,i feel myself again.....and in todays world at times ppl can judge a book frm its cover and i feel mayb wen i had them maybe they kinda squandered sum oppurtunities i culdve had ....so i felt that it was time to touch up on my image..dont get me wrong i have my own morals and values..but on this case i felt it was somethin i needed to do....for the betterment of me...on another not my nigga ktr been sick as hell wit pnemonia ..so i hope my nigga get well so he can get bak n skool and get bak on his grind wit dis rap shit....and me on the other hand...i been writing daily as usual and im workin on putting together a song real soon....but other than that im takin life a day at a time and always lookin for another way to make a dollar.......well till my nxt blog im out!!!!!

Thinking Before Making Actions and The Past

i kno i just made a blog last night and i kno ppl who read my blogs be like damn their always about relationships or life issues and to answer that statement thats wat i feel a blog is for to have the opportunity to express anyway u may feel at Ur discretion.....or in other words what you choose what to tell the world....so in that case i will display anything i choose...fuck off if u have a problem with it.....most recent business is dat after analyzing a recent situation...i see i have the tendency to be a jerk and a kind hearted person and ive realized that i need to tone down on being both a need to stop bein such a stubborn jerk becuz in the past it has cost me to lose out non certain relationships and friendships and opportunities..and i need to stop havin such a huge heart becuz its a gift and a curse i say gift becuz for ppl who who actually get to kno me as a person see the caring and considerate side of me {no homo} i say curse becuz when im being caring to the wrong person or someone that i shuldnt b it always blows back up in my face or when im suppose to b closin one chapter in my life to open another i dont becuz im steal dealin with stuff frm the past ...im not sayin i regret my past becuz i feel it has shaped me into who iam today but ur future will never b prosperous if u still havent let go of things in the past...im not fully sayin that i regret what what i did this past saturday but i feel i mite have put across the wrung message.....what i had back then was back then which is much different frm wat i have now.....i honestly admit true i prolly do still have sum feelings to that past but i mean wen u were close to that person those feelings nvr really go away they just kinda settle down when u become apart of somethin new....i love who im with now and nothin will change that but i feel myself as a man must draw a line of respect for my relationship and that line wasnt visible saturday...i did wat i did of of choice and i did it becuz i wanted to let that person kno i didnt forget about an important day in their life and that even though we r not wat we used to b we can still b cool cuz i dont believe in holdin grudges even though i dont usually keep in touch with my ex girlfriends but im beginning to think dats a bit childish.....but to sum this all up this is just another sign that i still have more growing to do i mean shit im young and im not always gonna make the best decisions....but in the case of mistakes i prefer to build a bridge and eventually get ovr it and i admit wen i fuck up and fall short or simply when i just dont understand something.........right now im just letting god run da kidds life and imma follow the vessel that beats in my chest cuz so far whenever i think and follow my brain it at times leads me wrong....till my nxt blog im out!!!!

Progress and Success

well its bout time for another blog.....not just cuz i got recent shit to talk about but becuz supposedly i bring someone pleasure becuz they like reading them.....so for the past couple days i been just chillen stayin ontop of this skool shit ..finally got a job workin at CVS..which was hella needed cuz senior year is expensive not to mention prom is around the corner...and i plans to do it big since its my last one......but anways ive been blessed to finally get another phone and i actually like it better than my phone cuz its smaller and its touch screen and i have also acquired a new dell laptop which was very much needed cuz ive always wanted one i mean i have my own desktop cpu but it eels good to have my own laptop and be able to lock it so no one else can use it......i dont mind sharing but somethings i just dont wanna share and this is one of them....this weekend has been the greatest weekned ever cuz it was just me and my pops chillen at the crib like old times it was so peaceful and quiet.....and drama free and i think we all needed a vakay frm each other so im glad my bro and moms got away to see they fam......i also went out to the movies with my girl on saturday night to go see dat new madea film and it was actually good i wuld advise those who read this post to go see it.......but it was a nice chill evening with just me and her which was great.....only thing that was bad was the fact that i was an hour late but i saved myself from being put in the dog house by alrdy calling her and tellin her i was gonna b runnin a bit late ......but she got ovr it anyway lol i think she loves me too much to trip ovr somethin small and im usually on time...this week is gonna b a three day week for me bcuz thurday i get excused frm skool to help host a african american black males conference at nccu and then friday the city is excusing me to go to a youth legislation conference in raliegh which will last throughout the weekend....so i get a free hotel room at the sheraton to just get away frm durham for a couple days which is needed....as i get closer to graduation i began to reflect ovr my years in highschool and i cant believe its almost ovr...and thats its time to start a new chapter.......ive noticed im not leavin with those i came in with....im still doin my daily writing and i feel dat im getting better but there always "Room For Improvement" lol but its a work in progress.....i think its safe to say that i have found half of myself which is an accomplishment in my eyes..ive come such a long way frm what i used to be and i wont lie but ive kinda developed a i dont give a fuck what others think imma do me....i can now seperate my friends frm the snakes......i remeber when i use to wonder what ppl at skool thought about me but at this point it doesnt matter becuz iam who iam and no one can change that......i regret my past but im also thankful for it cuz each past experience good o bad has helped shape me into who and what u see today.....well it almost 1am..so imma hit the wifey up and then call it a nite....da kidd out till my nxt blog


currently listening to : Marsha Ambrosius :Yours Truely