Sunday, May 24, 2009

Freak Incident

i think this has been one of my most rockiest testing weeks of my faith that i ever had....this week i have had times that ive lost my cool..and hell i did have a reason to but at the same time i didnt consider other ppl around me.....i think last nite was my biggest incident of losin my cool i was alrdy mad about immature ppl still causin me problems..and then ontop of that i hear somethings that in a sense i didnt take the time to listen to and understand even though i will honestly say...it kinda seems like bullshit...and that i feel i was completely railroaded but i mean hey im not in control of anyones life....but i def coulda reacted better....i think out of all the relationships ive ever had i think this is the one that has bothered me the most becuz ive invested so much time love and emotion in it.....for it to all go down the drain..i understand my other half doesnt want it to go down the drain either....but i gotta do a better job of listening and understanding instead of spazzing out...and doin a little assuming....what i have now means alot to me ..and if i havent realized dat early on than..i damn sure have realized it now.....i think weve just hit our biggest issue that is testing both our relationship and faith....cuz its not really anything were doing to one another its more just outside things that are ripping us apart..and i refuse to let the outside world do that.....i woke up to a 6am call from my mother because when i came home last nite i broke down to my pops and he really didnt kno how to talk to me about it and he was concerned so he called my moms.....and told her what was goin on.....and she called me 6am my time which is 3am her time in cali..and we had a long convo of whats going on...she explained the situation frm my shoes and explained the situation frm my girls shoes.....and its not like what were goin thru cant b worked out or overcame....but its gonna take a huge dosage of trust a cool head and sum time......which i now truely understand.....and at the same time i dont need to be walkin around wih my heart on my sleve cuz its gonna b all good.....i trust and believe that cuz weve invested to much to let this all go down the drain..but if i dont take the advice of my moms and remain cool ive understood that i culd push my other half away and then i wuld b the true reason for the death of my relationship.....im glad god has blessed me with a reasonable head on my shoulders to be able to cool down and get back to myself when i need to.....but at the same time when sunthing is dear to the kidd my emotions go rapid..but imma do a way better job of gettin it together...other than that im about lets say 2 weeks frm graduation and im excited for it...and i got these finals to work on and im excited for all my fam coming to my graduation and helpng me celebrate it afterwards so i got alot to smile about and look foward to....life is gonna b just fine........and imma just get things together and me and her are gonna work thru this together becuz we cant do it alone

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