Monday, May 25, 2009

?????

To Close Can't Stop Praying Now
Though There Seems Theres No one To This Pain
Everytime I Close My Eyes I Pray For Rain
I Pray For Rain To Wash Away The Pain......

the lyrics to that song are extremely true....and i can relate to every word.......as we all know pain and hard times is apart of life ive accepted that.....it just seems really hard at times.....i went to bed last nite feeling a little better having a positive outlook that everything will be just fine and i feel it will but in a sense whem i woke up i felt like shit....like i got up looked over at my phone at missed txt messages or calls and in a sense i was kinda lookin foward to a "goodmorning" txt and i didnt see it...now not sayin that i have to get that txt before i call or txt...but these past couple days its been really different......i havent been called nor txt..yesterday i made a call and expressed myself and left it alone.....to give time for thought.....but i didnt expect to not get calls or txt anymore at the sametime and as bad as i wanna call and express whats on my mind or how i currently i feel i question it cuz mayb i given them to much.....i dont want it to seem like im being a nag....so i kinda just let them be a tad bit but at the sametime it really hurts more not hearing from them.....i never had a situation where o i was just calling u back cuz u called me.....it was always i was callin cuz i wanted to talk to you.....lastnite really seemed good cuz i was feeling fine but i dont understand why i feel like shit this morning....like im really at an all time low...and i will be honest that iam wondering how long will it be before i recieve a call....like im not exactly the type to wait by the phone but each time my phone rings im not gonna lie....i do hope that its from that somebody.......at times it almost seems like the fate of all of this has been decided and that maybe im just in denial about it.....but i hope thats not the case....and if it is..than im just rdy to recieve my closure......cuz life just doesnt seem any easier until my question mark is removed..and ive said all i can say..and nearly done all i can do......

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