Im On It

been mad busy lately with gettin stuff together with school...settin stuff up with cvs and doin more writing....but i mean life is good im stress free and reallly culd care less bout anybody else problems but my own.....cuz in the end if theres no one else around all i got is myself....but other than dat spring has sucked as usual....i mean true it was good to handle needed biz and to relax but i kinda wished i wulda went sumwhere but its cool and i atleast saw my girl wen she got back frm vacation so i cant complain...prom was cool i enjoyed myself and i appreciate those who looked out for me but now its time to get on the grind and prepare for another one in may...but on anotha note i kno sumtimes my girl think she dont have my full attention or full interest but in reality u do..i mean im not perect and i have fallen short at times....and apologize for anything i mite have put u thru but its gonna be rough times n relationships especially if feelins and emotions are involved..and frm dis day foward i plan to do a hella better job as a boyfriend..cuz there r alot of things i can do better at and alot of things i need to stop doin..dat drive u up the wall..i appreciate u standin by a nigga side no matter wat...cuz i havent had to many girls in my life who have done that..thats wat makes me love ya cuz u hold me down regardless....btween u and ktr yall give me the most support more than anybody on this earth and no homo ktr but i love both yall for dat.....im not da greatest person at times to put up with but yall do it so thanks.....it looks like nccu will b my college in the fall so im happy bout that cuz imma still b close to my nigga and close to my girl....and my writing been coming along good.....i mean theres still alot of room for growth but i think wit all da knowlegde ive gathered ovr he years frm dealin with music and the rite ppl and influences i think im doin really good then most guys nowadays...my shit dont sound stupid..its like im tryna build a comercial sound with lyrics also which alot of artist dont have cuz they r either too damn commercial or too damn lyrical.....but i got my nigga critiqing my stuff so i shuld b good...but im bout to go spend a lil time wit my pregnant ass sis and wash her car and den hopefully chill wit my girl..til my nxt blog im out..by the way go check out them new tracks by nigga ktr and sean on facebook....and also check out that new wiz khalifa mixtape called flight school ..nice shit!!!!!!!

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so just when everything seems like its gonna be great shit gets rough......so just recently i decided that im gonna go to my senior prom.....random rite? but i mean hell my date offered to pay for somethings so i mean im not gonna pass it up plus i wanted to go bein that it is my senior prom..and i ive never been to prom since ive been in highschool..so prettty much everything is set to go except my tux...ticket money to eat and everything is basically covered.....so i mention to my pop ayo look i got all bases basically covered except my tux i kno wat i want imma need ya help getting it...he says ok cool let me just check on ya grades i say ok cool....he checks them....we discover im slippin in my latin..but it aint nothin dat i cant bring up so basically he says im not gonna pay it or put out the money which pisses me off like its not that m dad doesnt wanna do it..its just my dad has never really gave me any money for anything yes he keeps a roof over my head...but anything outside of that he doesnt do and i wuld atleast think he wuld put somethin towards my senior prom especailly wen hes not even bein asked of much..and its like all my life true i may not have always managed good grades but i feel i was atleats dcent shit skool aint for everybody but i make da best of wat i choose to do.....and its like i feel my pops has always took advantage of wen i didnt do well in skool like since i wasnt bringing home great grades then i dont have to buy him shit for xmas or bday and thats the additude i feel he has always had....i cant remeber that last time my pop bought me somethin for xmas or bday..it doesnt matter much or bother me now dat im older but it sucks not fully getting the support i shuld at home and my ma aint currently sendin me shit now cuz shes not workin cuz shes fighting depression....so its up to me to grind shit out....i kno its niggas in worse situations but damn i feel that no youth should go with out..but due to sum parents that sum of us have been born to we gotta deal with itand keep our heads up especially since were suppose to be the fuckin future...but yet no one really invests in us like they shuld its amazin how otha ppl whose not even my parent are doin stuff for me and i appreciate it i swear i do..but it makes me think like damn sometimes im better off raising myself..but at this point i plan to just take it a day at a time and just cruise to june 11 and i plan to make it to prom regardless especially bein dat my ticket has been paid for ..but its just senseless how much help i lack from my pops at home....i swear soon as shit fall thru with college im outta here...so imma just keep my head up and do wateva i gotta do to keep a dollar runnin thru my hands and into my pockets cuz i refuse to go with out.....>>deuces<<

Image&Change

wow so i think its been like almost a fucking month since ive did a blog....shit where do i start .....uhhh well i told myself i will try to shorten my long ass blogs......but ummmmm everything is pretty much the same....skool is cool...i find out whether or not i get accepted to shaw this week and wherever i go will b paid for....shit pretty much gucci between me and my girl....but im da newest thing in my life is that today i cut my locks off...i mean i didnt have them long ...but i had dem for a reasonable time period......i cut them becuz i felt it was cutting into the image that basically personifies me as a person...like i feel i wanted them for the wrong reason....and locks can b a religious type thing depending on who u r and wat u represent......and its funny cuz a person of wisdom shared somethin with me dat made alot of sense....and she asked me y i wanted them and i told her..and she said she had asked becuz she said many ppl had told her stories about theirs and one major one was dat she said sumone once told her that locks can represent things u go thru like tough times or hard times u endure and that when you cut them off its like a new start of ur life now im not sayin this is the beginning of a new life or anything cuz i dont need dat much of a dramatic change but i notice ive went thru more shit ever since ive had them than any other time of my life..not sayin dat cutting them off is gonna solve any problems i may have but i feel better as a person,,i feel myself again.....and in todays world at times ppl can judge a book frm its cover and i feel mayb wen i had them maybe they kinda squandered sum oppurtunities i culdve had ....so i felt that it was time to touch up on my image..dont get me wrong i have my own morals and values..but on this case i felt it was somethin i needed to do....for the betterment of me...on another not my nigga ktr been sick as hell wit pnemonia ..so i hope my nigga get well so he can get bak n skool and get bak on his grind wit dis rap shit....and me on the other hand...i been writing daily as usual and im workin on putting together a song real soon....but other than that im takin life a day at a time and always lookin for another way to make a dollar.......well till my nxt blog im out!!!!!

Thinking Before Making Actions and The Past

i kno i just made a blog last night and i kno ppl who read my blogs be like damn their always about relationships or life issues and to answer that statement thats wat i feel a blog is for to have the opportunity to express anyway u may feel at Ur discretion.....or in other words what you choose what to tell the world....so in that case i will display anything i choose...fuck off if u have a problem with it.....most recent business is dat after analyzing a recent situation...i see i have the tendency to be a jerk and a kind hearted person and ive realized that i need to tone down on being both a need to stop bein such a stubborn jerk becuz in the past it has cost me to lose out non certain relationships and friendships and opportunities..and i need to stop havin such a huge heart becuz its a gift and a curse i say gift becuz for ppl who who actually get to kno me as a person see the caring and considerate side of me {no homo} i say curse becuz when im being caring to the wrong person or someone that i shuldnt b it always blows back up in my face or when im suppose to b closin one chapter in my life to open another i dont becuz im steal dealin with stuff frm the past ...im not sayin i regret my past becuz i feel it has shaped me into who iam today but ur future will never b prosperous if u still havent let go of things in the past...im not fully sayin that i regret what what i did this past saturday but i feel i mite have put across the wrung message.....what i had back then was back then which is much different frm wat i have now.....i honestly admit true i prolly do still have sum feelings to that past but i mean wen u were close to that person those feelings nvr really go away they just kinda settle down when u become apart of somethin new....i love who im with now and nothin will change that but i feel myself as a man must draw a line of respect for my relationship and that line wasnt visible saturday...i did wat i did of of choice and i did it becuz i wanted to let that person kno i didnt forget about an important day in their life and that even though we r not wat we used to b we can still b cool cuz i dont believe in holdin grudges even though i dont usually keep in touch with my ex girlfriends but im beginning to think dats a bit childish.....but to sum this all up this is just another sign that i still have more growing to do i mean shit im young and im not always gonna make the best decisions....but in the case of mistakes i prefer to build a bridge and eventually get ovr it and i admit wen i fuck up and fall short or simply when i just dont understand something.........right now im just letting god run da kidds life and imma follow the vessel that beats in my chest cuz so far whenever i think and follow my brain it at times leads me wrong....till my nxt blog im out!!!!

Progress and Success

well its bout time for another blog.....not just cuz i got recent shit to talk about but becuz supposedly i bring someone pleasure becuz they like reading them.....so for the past couple days i been just chillen stayin ontop of this skool shit ..finally got a job workin at CVS..which was hella needed cuz senior year is expensive not to mention prom is around the corner...and i plans to do it big since its my last one......but anways ive been blessed to finally get another phone and i actually like it better than my phone cuz its smaller and its touch screen and i have also acquired a new dell laptop which was very much needed cuz ive always wanted one i mean i have my own desktop cpu but it eels good to have my own laptop and be able to lock it so no one else can use it......i dont mind sharing but somethings i just dont wanna share and this is one of them....this weekend has been the greatest weekned ever cuz it was just me and my pops chillen at the crib like old times it was so peaceful and quiet.....and drama free and i think we all needed a vakay frm each other so im glad my bro and moms got away to see they fam......i also went out to the movies with my girl on saturday night to go see dat new madea film and it was actually good i wuld advise those who read this post to go see it.......but it was a nice chill evening with just me and her which was great.....only thing that was bad was the fact that i was an hour late but i saved myself from being put in the dog house by alrdy calling her and tellin her i was gonna b runnin a bit late ......but she got ovr it anyway lol i think she loves me too much to trip ovr somethin small and im usually on time...this week is gonna b a three day week for me bcuz thurday i get excused frm skool to help host a african american black males conference at nccu and then friday the city is excusing me to go to a youth legislation conference in raliegh which will last throughout the weekend....so i get a free hotel room at the sheraton to just get away frm durham for a couple days which is needed....as i get closer to graduation i began to reflect ovr my years in highschool and i cant believe its almost ovr...and thats its time to start a new chapter.......ive noticed im not leavin with those i came in with....im still doin my daily writing and i feel dat im getting better but there always "Room For Improvement" lol but its a work in progress.....i think its safe to say that i have found half of myself which is an accomplishment in my eyes..ive come such a long way frm what i used to be and i wont lie but ive kinda developed a i dont give a fuck what others think imma do me....i can now seperate my friends frm the snakes......i remeber when i use to wonder what ppl at skool thought about me but at this point it doesnt matter becuz iam who iam and no one can change that......i regret my past but im also thankful for it cuz each past experience good o bad has helped shape me into who and what u see today.....well it almost 1am..so imma hit the wifey up and then call it a nite....da kidd out till my nxt blog


currently listening to : Marsha Ambrosius :Yours Truely

New Ambitions

damn its been a good week or so since my last blog.....to b honest i aint really had anything to write about..well i have but the shit wulda been pointless..and prolly wulda kept an ongoing situation...but anyways i been consimplatin on whether i shuld start takin my writing a bit more serious....like with music ...and ive come to the conclusion that imma actually do it...so latelty ive been writing daily inside a compositon book....practicing how to flip my words.....metaphors...and also putting stories within inside my rhymes.....one case of advice imma take frm my nigga ktr is that i need o develop my own sound....like u will b a more unique efficient artist if u sound different frm others....nowadays anybody can rap about trappin..fuckin hoes....how much money they got.....or what gun they gone shoot a nigga wit.....as im writing of course im listening to other artist as examples as actual lrycist...so of course at this point im currently muting all my gucci out lol....i mean i respect the nigga as a artist and i like his shit but hes just not somebody i need to listen to....to help me develop a talent in writng........i like to stick out so its gonna take me even more time develop my skill.....its like ive always wrote on an off but never really took it seriously .....and it feels like a now or never thing at this point.....and i mean a very wise person who is important to me stated that i shuld have a plan "B" if this music thing doesnt work out....TRUE....but i feel dat dis shit has to workout...like whether imma an artist or a manager/producer...iam determined to have a career that has some type of involvement with music....ive had a love for football and politics....but ive had a passion and love for music thats much stronger...but i just have to find my purpose in it....so with my writing and expreminting i plan to find that purpose....my future and life depends on it lol.....but anyways big ups to my nigga ktr going to perform in DC this weekend opening up for jadakiss....b sure to stop past his blog ktr1027.blogspot.com for more info on him..swear to god that nigga the next to bat to b the greatest....and im not dick ridin neither its just real shit my nigga nice...i also wuld like to thank certain hoes that been makin me famous lately yo...damn even when i dont open my mouth about anything in their direction my name still cums out there mouth but o well thats neither here or there.....im avoidin all drama at this point ..life is too fuckin good and they say for every 60 seconds you spend mad or upset...is a minute you cant get back....which culda been a moment of happiness...ive learned that sumtimes ppl will nvr change but dat aint my problem....im willing to move on with life without holdin grudges but i guess others cant b mature and do the same....but it is wat it is.......


currently bumpin....Charles Hamilton- The Hamiltonization

Little Bit

so this weekend was valetines day weekend....i started my weeknd off friday doing shopping for saturdays dinner and then later went to a duke and clemson basketball game....saturday came and i still had a lil more shopping to do becuz i wanted this vday to be memorable and i wanted to do things that ive never really done before....so basically had dinner round bout 7:30...i cooked chicken alfredo corn and string beans with fettuccine noodles....i had a rose, ballon and other stuff waiitng for my valentine at the door....i not only cooked for me and my guest but i cooked for my parents and my brother and his date...my parents werent really involved and left and my brothers date never showed up , so he left so it basically was just me and {her}..shit as cool ate dinner watch our favorite movie love and basketball ..baked a few cookies and shit....and it was all good. after a while after i had showered her with everything i had made and provided for her...i got a well needed back rub ....it caught me off gurad at first cuz i had to realize somebody was actually doin somethin for the kidd and pretty much the remainder of the evening was all for me...shit just seemed so different about this vday idk if its becuz i was creative in the things i did....or is it becuz it was with the person it was with ..but it was just great and i didnt wanna wake up the nxt morning lol.....i guess the theme for this weekend was Drake's newest mixtape called "So Far Gone" shit crack actually if u need a copy of you can download it at livemixtapes. com or go on the blogspot titled {octobersveryown.blogspot.com} shit fire a fuck..and more than likely im gonna end up playing it in the ground like i did comeback season lol......ive come to realize that i have a huge heart which isnt a bad thing its just my flaw for having a huge heart is dat i need to kno when to use that huge heart and wen not to..everybody is not worthy of that part of me which has been the trouble of most o my sitiuations and last nite the people who deserved that part of me was my fam {for the hour they were here lol} and {acg <3} but the rest of the nite was history lol and i look foward to many times and other valentine days like that again.....


*till my nxt blog dueces da kidd out