Image&Change

wow so i think its been like almost a fucking month since ive did a blog....shit where do i start .....uhhh well i told myself i will try to shorten my long ass blogs......but ummmmm everything is pretty much the same....skool is cool...i find out whether or not i get accepted to shaw this week and wherever i go will b paid for....shit pretty much gucci between me and my girl....but im da newest thing in my life is that today i cut my locks off...i mean i didnt have them long ...but i had dem for a reasonable time period......i cut them becuz i felt it was cutting into the image that basically personifies me as a person...like i feel i wanted them for the wrong reason....and locks can b a religious type thing depending on who u r and wat u represent......and its funny cuz a person of wisdom shared somethin with me dat made alot of sense....and she asked me y i wanted them and i told her..and she said she had asked becuz she said many ppl had told her stories about theirs and one major one was dat she said sumone once told her that locks can represent things u go thru like tough times or hard times u endure and that when you cut them off its like a new start of ur life now im not sayin this is the beginning of a new life or anything cuz i dont need dat much of a dramatic change but i notice ive went thru more shit ever since ive had them than any other time of my life..not sayin dat cutting them off is gonna solve any problems i may have but i feel better as a person,,i feel myself again.....and in todays world at times ppl can judge a book frm its cover and i feel mayb wen i had them maybe they kinda squandered sum oppurtunities i culdve had ....so i felt that it was time to touch up on my image..dont get me wrong i have my own morals and values..but on this case i felt it was somethin i needed to do....for the betterment of me...on another not my nigga ktr been sick as hell wit pnemonia ..so i hope my nigga get well so he can get bak n skool and get bak on his grind wit dis rap shit....and me on the other hand...i been writing daily as usual and im workin on putting together a song real soon....but other than that im takin life a day at a time and always lookin for another way to make a dollar.......well till my nxt blog im out!!!!!

Thinking Before Making Actions and The Past

i kno i just made a blog last night and i kno ppl who read my blogs be like damn their always about relationships or life issues and to answer that statement thats wat i feel a blog is for to have the opportunity to express anyway u may feel at Ur discretion.....or in other words what you choose what to tell the world....so in that case i will display anything i choose...fuck off if u have a problem with it.....most recent business is dat after analyzing a recent situation...i see i have the tendency to be a jerk and a kind hearted person and ive realized that i need to tone down on being both a need to stop bein such a stubborn jerk becuz in the past it has cost me to lose out non certain relationships and friendships and opportunities..and i need to stop havin such a huge heart becuz its a gift and a curse i say gift becuz for ppl who who actually get to kno me as a person see the caring and considerate side of me {no homo} i say curse becuz when im being caring to the wrong person or someone that i shuldnt b it always blows back up in my face or when im suppose to b closin one chapter in my life to open another i dont becuz im steal dealin with stuff frm the past ...im not sayin i regret my past becuz i feel it has shaped me into who iam today but ur future will never b prosperous if u still havent let go of things in the past...im not fully sayin that i regret what what i did this past saturday but i feel i mite have put across the wrung message.....what i had back then was back then which is much different frm wat i have now.....i honestly admit true i prolly do still have sum feelings to that past but i mean wen u were close to that person those feelings nvr really go away they just kinda settle down when u become apart of somethin new....i love who im with now and nothin will change that but i feel myself as a man must draw a line of respect for my relationship and that line wasnt visible saturday...i did wat i did of of choice and i did it becuz i wanted to let that person kno i didnt forget about an important day in their life and that even though we r not wat we used to b we can still b cool cuz i dont believe in holdin grudges even though i dont usually keep in touch with my ex girlfriends but im beginning to think dats a bit childish.....but to sum this all up this is just another sign that i still have more growing to do i mean shit im young and im not always gonna make the best decisions....but in the case of mistakes i prefer to build a bridge and eventually get ovr it and i admit wen i fuck up and fall short or simply when i just dont understand something.........right now im just letting god run da kidds life and imma follow the vessel that beats in my chest cuz so far whenever i think and follow my brain it at times leads me wrong....till my nxt blog im out!!!!

Progress and Success

well its bout time for another blog.....not just cuz i got recent shit to talk about but becuz supposedly i bring someone pleasure becuz they like reading them.....so for the past couple days i been just chillen stayin ontop of this skool shit ..finally got a job workin at CVS..which was hella needed cuz senior year is expensive not to mention prom is around the corner...and i plans to do it big since its my last one......but anways ive been blessed to finally get another phone and i actually like it better than my phone cuz its smaller and its touch screen and i have also acquired a new dell laptop which was very much needed cuz ive always wanted one i mean i have my own desktop cpu but it eels good to have my own laptop and be able to lock it so no one else can use it......i dont mind sharing but somethings i just dont wanna share and this is one of them....this weekend has been the greatest weekned ever cuz it was just me and my pops chillen at the crib like old times it was so peaceful and quiet.....and drama free and i think we all needed a vakay frm each other so im glad my bro and moms got away to see they fam......i also went out to the movies with my girl on saturday night to go see dat new madea film and it was actually good i wuld advise those who read this post to go see it.......but it was a nice chill evening with just me and her which was great.....only thing that was bad was the fact that i was an hour late but i saved myself from being put in the dog house by alrdy calling her and tellin her i was gonna b runnin a bit late ......but she got ovr it anyway lol i think she loves me too much to trip ovr somethin small and im usually on time...this week is gonna b a three day week for me bcuz thurday i get excused frm skool to help host a african american black males conference at nccu and then friday the city is excusing me to go to a youth legislation conference in raliegh which will last throughout the weekend....so i get a free hotel room at the sheraton to just get away frm durham for a couple days which is needed....as i get closer to graduation i began to reflect ovr my years in highschool and i cant believe its almost ovr...and thats its time to start a new chapter.......ive noticed im not leavin with those i came in with....im still doin my daily writing and i feel dat im getting better but there always "Room For Improvement" lol but its a work in progress.....i think its safe to say that i have found half of myself which is an accomplishment in my eyes..ive come such a long way frm what i used to be and i wont lie but ive kinda developed a i dont give a fuck what others think imma do me....i can now seperate my friends frm the snakes......i remeber when i use to wonder what ppl at skool thought about me but at this point it doesnt matter becuz iam who iam and no one can change that......i regret my past but im also thankful for it cuz each past experience good o bad has helped shape me into who and what u see today.....well it almost 1am..so imma hit the wifey up and then call it a nite....da kidd out till my nxt blog


currently listening to : Marsha Ambrosius :Yours Truely

New Ambitions

damn its been a good week or so since my last blog.....to b honest i aint really had anything to write about..well i have but the shit wulda been pointless..and prolly wulda kept an ongoing situation...but anyways i been consimplatin on whether i shuld start takin my writing a bit more serious....like with music ...and ive come to the conclusion that imma actually do it...so latelty ive been writing daily inside a compositon book....practicing how to flip my words.....metaphors...and also putting stories within inside my rhymes.....one case of advice imma take frm my nigga ktr is that i need o develop my own sound....like u will b a more unique efficient artist if u sound different frm others....nowadays anybody can rap about trappin..fuckin hoes....how much money they got.....or what gun they gone shoot a nigga wit.....as im writing of course im listening to other artist as examples as actual lrycist...so of course at this point im currently muting all my gucci out lol....i mean i respect the nigga as a artist and i like his shit but hes just not somebody i need to listen to....to help me develop a talent in writng........i like to stick out so its gonna take me even more time develop my skill.....its like ive always wrote on an off but never really took it seriously .....and it feels like a now or never thing at this point.....and i mean a very wise person who is important to me stated that i shuld have a plan "B" if this music thing doesnt work out....TRUE....but i feel dat dis shit has to workout...like whether imma an artist or a manager/producer...iam determined to have a career that has some type of involvement with music....ive had a love for football and politics....but ive had a passion and love for music thats much stronger...but i just have to find my purpose in it....so with my writing and expreminting i plan to find that purpose....my future and life depends on it lol.....but anyways big ups to my nigga ktr going to perform in DC this weekend opening up for jadakiss....b sure to stop past his blog ktr1027.blogspot.com for more info on him..swear to god that nigga the next to bat to b the greatest....and im not dick ridin neither its just real shit my nigga nice...i also wuld like to thank certain hoes that been makin me famous lately yo...damn even when i dont open my mouth about anything in their direction my name still cums out there mouth but o well thats neither here or there.....im avoidin all drama at this point ..life is too fuckin good and they say for every 60 seconds you spend mad or upset...is a minute you cant get back....which culda been a moment of happiness...ive learned that sumtimes ppl will nvr change but dat aint my problem....im willing to move on with life without holdin grudges but i guess others cant b mature and do the same....but it is wat it is.......


currently bumpin....Charles Hamilton- The Hamiltonization

Little Bit

so this weekend was valetines day weekend....i started my weeknd off friday doing shopping for saturdays dinner and then later went to a duke and clemson basketball game....saturday came and i still had a lil more shopping to do becuz i wanted this vday to be memorable and i wanted to do things that ive never really done before....so basically had dinner round bout 7:30...i cooked chicken alfredo corn and string beans with fettuccine noodles....i had a rose, ballon and other stuff waiitng for my valentine at the door....i not only cooked for me and my guest but i cooked for my parents and my brother and his date...my parents werent really involved and left and my brothers date never showed up , so he left so it basically was just me and {her}..shit as cool ate dinner watch our favorite movie love and basketball ..baked a few cookies and shit....and it was all good. after a while after i had showered her with everything i had made and provided for her...i got a well needed back rub ....it caught me off gurad at first cuz i had to realize somebody was actually doin somethin for the kidd and pretty much the remainder of the evening was all for me...shit just seemed so different about this vday idk if its becuz i was creative in the things i did....or is it becuz it was with the person it was with ..but it was just great and i didnt wanna wake up the nxt morning lol.....i guess the theme for this weekend was Drake's newest mixtape called "So Far Gone" shit crack actually if u need a copy of you can download it at livemixtapes. com or go on the blogspot titled {octobersveryown.blogspot.com} shit fire a fuck..and more than likely im gonna end up playing it in the ground like i did comeback season lol......ive come to realize that i have a huge heart which isnt a bad thing its just my flaw for having a huge heart is dat i need to kno when to use that huge heart and wen not to..everybody is not worthy of that part of me which has been the trouble of most o my sitiuations and last nite the people who deserved that part of me was my fam {for the hour they were here lol} and {acg <3} but the rest of the nite was history lol and i look foward to many times and other valentine days like that again.....


*till my nxt blog dueces da kidd out

Scattered Thoughts and Standstills

its like 4 in the morning and im here on my desktop writing yet another blog........my eyes opened this morning approximately at about 4:05 and im thinking to myself like why am i up so damn early???? so i turn back over to try and get more sleep cuz i didnt wanna get up till bout 5am becuz thats wat tyme i had planned to go do my run....but i had no success...so while im just laying in my bed wide awake.....mad thoughts run thru my head.....like have you ever had so many thoughts that it seemed like they were too damn scattered to the point you cant take time to figure one thought out......i hate at times that im a analytical thinker......becuz it makes me really confuse at times becuz i cant figure out somethin without thinking bout somethin else.......so as more time passes i began to think more and more bout stuff like school....where will i be nxt fall.....music and what part will i play in it....and certain people i do not plan to continue calling friends in 2009 because they are practically dead weight.....alot of times i feel im at a standstill with my music because not much of myself produces anything but mere lines of poetry and lil shit i write every now and then.....and ideas here and there..its like i want more for myself with this so called thing that im passionate about.......i want more for my nigga..cuz on sum real shit he got the potential to be one of the greatest.......i sometimes think of the shit i have to do on my own....like i see other kids and shit and the things their parents do for them and things they show them that are really simple but important....and i wonder why the fuck my ppls dont help me with some of those things.....simple shit like learning how to invest money.....its crazy becuz if you think about it...i really take of care of my damn self......i buy my own clothes .....i pay anything and everything for my phone......i buy my own damn food at times.....my senior year so far has been funded by me so far......i got my on hustle that keeps money in my pocket.....and if i wanna get my license i gotta get my own insurance which will be expensive as fuck.....its crazy cuz my ppls expect so much out of me.....but do little to help...i mean yea my pop keep a roof over my head but thats only cuz im still in highschool......other than that he dont do much for me....and im not even gonna get started on mom dukes....but i just wonder when my time will come to sit comfortable and be able to handle all my shit without problems...and be able to have things i may want or desire....i feel everybody has to go thru some type of struggle at some point in their life....and i guess im just goin thru mine early and that my future will be alot better and succesful becuz my struggle has made me strong and i also feel that ppl who dont kno wat it feels like to go without take alot of shit for granted...but i know exactly what it feels like so i appreciate anything i get and have....i got more to say but its time to go get my early mornin workout started........

New Agenda

so today i started off my official first day of dieting an exercise......ive had a few mornings of getting up to go run just to maintain my weight and health...but as of today i started it with a diet also.....i got up at about 4am...threw on sum sweats...and sum shoes and walked across my complex to the fitness room....now our fitness room is no bigger han my damn bedroom lol...but it has a decent tredmill and walking bike and shoulder press machine....so i started off with a 45 minute run on the treadmill and then a 15 minute cool down walk......when i got bak to da crib...i began to do crunches....i did about 100 total...afterwards i got myself together for skool and my lil mornin diet will consist of a serving of peanuts with a bottle of water every morning....a workout may not seeem important to others but its fucking rediculous of all the ppl in my fam who are diabetics at such a young age or either they got high blood pressure...for the most part i wuld say i have a decent form but it wuldnt hurt to get a lil bigger and tighten up...cuz its getting hotter..which means a time to wear less clothes..and i got a couple places i wanna put sum tats..and u cant pop out a shirt without a decent build..well i mean u can if u got an i dont give a fuck mentallity like rick ross lol but it does disgust me seeing him on the covers of magazines like that....like i mean shit i guess it really is true that they say u kinda lose ya mind wen u get a nice amount of money....to me appearance is everything....so with that note im gonna do my best to keep up with my apperance...P.S. shout out to my steelers for winning tht game last nite for the most part the cardinals gave them a good game but Big Ben kept his cool and pulled it out congrats..lol plus it was good to see my father the so called "Cowboys' fan face now that pittsburgh has more superbowl titles than the cowboys